Before the Baby Arrives: Important Questions to Ask Your Partner
Having a baby changes nearly every part of life. Emotionally, financially, and relationally. Love matters, but is not enough. Open communication is what sustains a relationship through parenthood. Talking through expectations, roles, and values early helps prevent conflict, burnout, and resentment. Below are essential conversation topics and guiding questions to help shape your parenting approach.
Defining Parenting Values
- What does being a “good parent” mean to us?
- What values do we want to pass on?
- What from our upbringing do we want to keep or change?
Discipline & Guidance
- How do we want to approach discipline?
- How will we set rules and boundaries?
Religion, Culture & Traditions
- What role will religion or spirituality play in our parenting?
- Which traditions do we want to continue or create?
Division of Labor & Daily Responsibilities
- How will we handle night feedings, diaper changes, etc?
- How will we share feeding, diapering, and soothing responsibilities?
- How will chores be divided?
- How will we support each other when overwhelmed?
Finances & Work
- How will childcare be handled and paid for?
- What time off or leave is available?
- How will we manage budgeting and future costs?
Mental Health & Emotional Support
- How do we handle stress individually and together?
- What support do we need during hard moments?
- How will we check in with each other emotionally?
- Are we open to outside support?
Sleep, Routines & Lifestyle Changes
- How important is sticking to a routine versus being flexible?
- What personal time do we each need?
Family Boundaries & Outside Influence
- How involved will extended family be?
- How will we handle unsolicited advice?
- What if family opinions conflict with ours?
Health, Pregnancy & Birth Preferences
- What are our pregnancy and birth preferences?
- What role will each partner play in pregnancy and delivery?
- How will we advocate for each other?
- What support will we need postpartum?
Education & Childcare Decisions
- What childcare options do we prefer?
- How do we feel about schooling later on?
- Where can we be flexible if plans change?
You don’t need all the answers, just a willingness to talk and understand. Remember that your partner is your teammate, so it is you and them against the problem. Parenthood isn’t about perfection or getting everything right, but it is about communication, teamwork, and adaptability. A baby changes everything, but strong conversations help you face those changes together. The earlier you can have these conversations, the better.
