Supporting Confidence and Resilience in our Children

Supporting Resilience

• Let them struggle. Allowing our children to work through challenges gives them the chance to figure things out for themselves which encourages problem solving, critical thinking, and confidence. 
• Normalize mistakes. Children learn by doing. Try not to discourage or shame when mistakes are made. 
• Model calm behavior. Loud or big reactions can feel intimidating to a child who is learning to navigate the world around them. Calm behavior helps create a peaceful and safe environment. 
• Praise effort, not results. Say things like “You should be really proud of your effort!” or  “you tried your best!” 
• Ask problem-solving questions: “How do you think we should figure this out?”, “what do you think would be helpful”,  “if we do xyz what do you think will happen” 
• Keep routines consistent. Routines help children with predictability and structure. 
• Allow natural consequences. Allow your child to explore and yield results for themself. For example: 
  • If a child refuses to wear a coat they might feel cold
  • If they forget homework they face the teacher’s response
  • If they leave a toy outside it might get lost or ruined
  • If they don’t eat dinner they feel hungry later

Supporting Confidence

• Give specific praise: “You did a great job sharing your toys with your friends”, “I love how you helped me make dinner” 
• Assign small responsibilities: Throwing trash away, picking up toys, etc.
• Encourage independence. Allow your child to explore, try simple tasks on their own, and play independently.
• Focus on progress. Perfection isn't the goal. Encourage and praise children at each step along the way.
• Support their interests. Play the games that your children are interested in when possible and encourage them to tell you about their interests.
• Offer simple choices. Don't overwhelm your child's decision making process with too many options. Keep choices clear and simple. For example, “Do you want broccoli or green beans?”, “Do you want to use crayons to color or would you prefer markers?” 

Things to Avoid

• Rescuing too quickly
• Harsh criticism
• Negative labels
• Over-scheduling
• Fixing everything